SUCKER Punch could be variously described as shallow, empty, hollow, exploitaitive, and morally bankrupt.
Could it be the greatest movie ever?
No, but mentalist director Zack Snyder has delivered a stunning spectacle.
Zack takes reality, punches it in the face, kicks it in the crown jewels, buries it alive, and then goes around to its house, sets its pets on fire and kills its mother.
The feeling that all this would make a lot more sense if the viewer was under the influence of mind-altering chemical substances is inescapable.
The promos promise that viewers will be unprepared … and there’s no doubt about that.
The “plot” such as it is, has lead character “Baby Doll” (Emily Browning, dressed as a schoolgirl most of the time) as a girl consigned to the nuthouse (sorry, mental health care facility).
This turns out to be a booby hatch in more ways than one, as we discover that Baby Doll specialises in the two talents most prized by men – exotic dancing and kicking the snot out of anyone who needs it.
She retreats into a fantasy world that is nothing more than an excuse for a series of set-piece encounters with giant Japanese samurai warriors, fire-breathing dragons, steam and clockwork-powered WWI German zombies in the trenches (yes, really) and robots on a train.
And it’s all done with an extraordinary amount of fishnet stockings, and some freakin’ big guns.
This movie really defies classification, but if you imagine one hour and 50 minutes of the video series “Sexy girls with sexy guns” on steroids, then that’s probably fairly close.
Abbie Cornish, particularly, brings a sexuality to her role that is positively unsettling in its intensity.
At the end of the day, the fishnets are very nice, and the guns are very big, but it’s still not enough to sustain interest, even for a 16-year-old boy. Nine-year-old boys would love it to death, if only you could get them in.
This is a visually breath-taking and loud spectacle, lacking any plot or character development.
Director Snyder, the veteran of such classics as the Dawn of the Dead remake, Watchmen and 300, has given us a deeply flawed masterpiece whose strengths are its weaknesses.
But we love him for it anyway.
– Jason Beck
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