Footy on the radio

IT’S the poor cousin to the glamour of televised football, but radio broadcasts are a vital element in every Victorian winter.
From the Captain and the Major, Harry Beitzel and Drew Morphett in the ’70s, footy on the radio has evolved to the era of Brian Taylor, Garry Lyon and … Drew Morphett.
Drew has been back on ABC radio for a few years now and sounds just like he did 30 years ago – bloody annoying.
But he fits right into The Grand-stand team which is headed by the smooth but slightly smug Gerard Whately and a core of special comments people who make listening to the footy an absolute misery.
Mark Maclure, Peter Schwab and, to a lesser extent, David Parkin seem to find little joy in the game that gave them long careers and part-time weekend jobs.
Maclure seems to think players from the losing team are weak, worthless creatures who deserve nothing but derision. When the same team hits the lead, he is the first one to join its cheer squad.
Peter Schwab has a whining voice and an attitude to match. David Parkin, a man once notorious for his temper during games, now contents himself with audible groans at the poor play he is witnessing.
Younger special comments men like Chris Grant, Aussie Jones and Aaron Lord seem to be enjoying themselves a whole lot more.
Over on 3AW, the once dominant team is struggling to find the right chemistry post-Rex Hunt.
Brian Taylor is one of the best commentators going around and has a good sense of humour, but his combative stye of pre-game chat seemed a better fit in the blokey atmosphere of MMM.
Dennis Cometti is like an Easter Island statue that cracks one-liners. Nothing, including his hair, voice and mannerisms, ever changes.
The AW team is a solid bunch but could do with a little bit more flair and a little less Tony Shaw – perhaps the most annoying and uninformative man in football.
The missing part of the equation is Rex Hunt.
Sure, he is still burbling away on Triple M, but he seems more like a novelty act, a freak from a different era among hip youngsters.
But Rex in his heyday, which lasted a good 15 years, was a broadcaster of unparalleled skill.
He could make listeners cry tears of laughter or have them screaming at the radio, but it was always entertaining.
He was a professional who knew that people listened to the footy to have fun, not to be bored stiff by the “Tobin Brothers”, as he called his ABC rivals.
But with Rex an irrelevance, the clear winners in the footy calling premiership is the team from SEN.
From its best callers to its worst, they all seem to enjoy the product and have an enthusiasm for the game that is infectious.
Being entertained while driving the car or cooking the dinner is what footy radio is all about.
SEN manages to get the right combination of entertainment, information and pure enjoyment in their radio calls. – Danny Buttler