Dean Calvert came dressed ready for goal umpire duty on Sunday but was ‘promoted’ to the timekeepers’ box instead. The humorous goal umpire has developed quite a following among junior footballers. 69681
By Gavin Staindl
LARRIKIN goal umpire Dean Calvert is widely renowned for his comic antics behind the sticks, but the recently ‘retired’ ump decided on Sunday he must return for one more year.
Calvert, 44, is often spotted at Fountain Gate junior footy games turning the sometimes mundane task of goal umpiring into something of a festival.
Donning a wig, a mask and anything else he can find, Calvert has been known to sing, commentate and set up picnics during the match.
He has even walked halfway down the ground to wave the flags and signal a goal while umpiring games involving his son, Braden.
“It’s all about making it enjoyable for the kids,” Calvert said.
“Kids I don’t even know come up to me while I’m shopping or out with the family and will say ‘you’re the funny goal umpire’.
“There are days when us or the opposition are getting smashed and the kids in the backline are getting bored … so I try to ham it up for them.”
But the lovable five-year veteran, who retired last year and ‘officially’ retired this year, says he has unfinished business.
“I want to win the Hungry Jack’s award,” Calvert said.
For those not familiar with the award, a prize of a free meal at Hungry Jack’s is awarded to the best players at the end of each match.
“I’ve been recognised as umpire of the year, but have never won the Hungry Jack’s award,” Calvert said.
“Everyone deserves a good feed and I put my hand up every week, but have never won it.
“I originally hung up the boots last year, but I was conned back into it.
“I came back in round one of this year to watch my son and someone had the white umpire’s jacket and goes, ‘righto Dean, you’re doing the job again’ and off we went.
“I’ve done 80-odd games and have officially retired, but maybe I’ll go for my 100th and get a banner like my 50th.”
But one thing stands in the way.
“The pay isn’t too good,” Calvert said.
“As a professional volunteer, the pay is just shocking.”
However, on Sunday at the South Eastern Juniors grand finals, Calvert was given the opportunity of a lifetime … a chance to become the timekeeper.
Despite admitting to knowing little about timekeeping, Calvert responded enthusiastically when asked to fill the position.
“When it’s raining and cold and I’m behind the sticks, I look up to the timekeepers’ box and I ponder, how warm would that be,” Calvert said.
“I feel it’s a step forward for me. Maybe I’m moving up in life.
“But I’ll need the instruction book. If the wife tells me to be home at two, I get home at four … that’s not good timekeeping.”
