Still the None

CHANNEL Nine’s long term motto was “Still the One”.
They had good reason to be boastful. The home of the late Brian Naylor, Ray Martin, Jana Wendt and Darryl Somers was the unchallenged ratings leader across the nation.
On the back of its all-powerful National Nine News and A Current Affair, Nine won a record number of ratings periods during the 1980s and ’90s.
Today, the network is a shadow of its former self.
This reviewer came to the realisation the other day that there is not a single program on Nine that is worth watching.
Sure, there aren’t many worth watching on any commerical channel, but there always seems to be at least one decent show per station.
Over at Nine, however, the cupboard is finally bare.
It seems every time I flick through the channels, they are showing Two and Half Men, The Big Bang Theory, CSI Somewhere or The Mentalist.
I don’t reckon the shows were much better in 1988, but I suspect there might have been a bit more variety.
Hey Hey It’s Saturday, The Flying Doctors, ER, Sale of the Century and Friends were staples of the ’80s and ’90s. With the exception of ER, none were particularly good, but they gave the impression that the network was at least trying.
Kerry Packer would be turning in his oversized grave if he could see what is happening at his beloved station.
With its news room gutted by cutbacks, ACA losing the race to the bottom with Today Tonight and a schedule filled with the most mediocre shows America has to offer, Channel Nine doesn’t look like changing its new motto, “Still the None.”
– Danny Buttler