Mal’s Fairlane is in the fast lane

By Marc McGowan
KOOWEERUP jokester Mal Pugh has many passions in life and one of the strongest is his love of the fourwheeled variety.
Mr Pugh, otherwise known as ‘Mal Function, the Poet Larrikin’, believes he was born with cars in the blood and has had a longheld ambition to own a “pet” car.
His dream eventuated when he sold his home in Moorabbin and moved to Kooweerup five years ago, with the relocation providing an unexpected bonus.
“Following the move to Kooweerup, there was some loose cash in the kitty,” Mr Pugh said. “I believe money is for spending.”
The extra dough, all $18,000 of it, was invested in a 1963 Ford Compact Fairlane, but not before having to coax his wife, Margery, into the benefits of buying another car.
“It has a bright red complexion and it has had a heart transplant with a slightly larger V8 engine,” he said.
“How could someone not love it? Even Margery’s jaw dropped open when she saw it.”
Mr Pugh goes “bitumen cruising” twice a week in his testosteronepumping vehicle and he believes that Margery’s dismay at the engine’s monstrous V8 throbbing is easily fixed.
“A lot of heads turn, but I don’t know whether it’s just because of the bright paint,” he said.
“Once we get moving, you can outrun the sound on the highway!”
Not surprisingly, Mr Pugh has penned a poem about the Fairlane.
“Everyone in the family has had one written for them, so I had to write one for the car,” he said.
“I love them; I just haven’t been in a position to have a backyard full of cars. It’s great, just that it can be completely different to the car you have.
“I’m not mechanically inclined, but I do plan on replacing the cassette deck with a CD player.”