Midsomer Murders – an alternative to Valium

BRITISH detective dramas have been a staple of Australian television schedules for as long as most of us can remember.
In recent years programmers have imported Inspector Morse, A Touch of Frost, Wycliff, Rebus, Foyles War, Prime Suspect, The Last Detective and endless Agatha Christie mysteries. This is just a small sample of the many UK crime series that offer an alternative to that other cornerstone of Australian TV culture – the American crime series.
A recent visit to my parents saw us spending a Sunday evening watching the king of all English mysteries – Midsomer Murders. The biggest mystery about this long-running show is, of course, why anyone would watch it.
Those who have been medically sedated will best understand the Midsomer experience where everything seems to move at a pleasantly slower pace but things don’t quite make sense. The many twists and turn in the plot serve only to befuddle viewers who are trying to follow the story between regular micro-sleeps.
The plot treads a familiar path each week, with Inspector Barnaby solving a murder or three in the small rural town of Midsomer, which has a homicide rate only bettered by Mogadishu and Mt. Thomas.
With a running time of 100 minutes, the show meanders through the plotline like a rowboat floating along a English river. The problem with such shows is they risk making the viewer so relaxed they slip into a mild coma, only waking when the inevitable confession is coaxed from the caddish aristocrat, embittered game keeper, pious pastor or whatever other rural English stereotype was written into the script that week.
Up until this year, Inspector Tom Barnaby, played by John Nettles has been the lead character, being replaced by his cousin Inspector John Barnaby, played by Neil Dudgeon.
Apparently the changeover has been smooth in the UK, but caused a few problems last week when the new Barnaby’s introduction was held back a week due to problems at the ABC. Mum and Dad were not happy.
If you like your television to be a little bit challenging, surprising or exciting, Midsomer is not a good place to visit. If you are looking for a cheap and legal alternative to valium, then tune into ABC1 on Sunday night.

– Danny Buttler